Does this story seem familiar to you?

I had an old acquaintance who I only met once which was 4 years ago, and lately, we had connected again updating both our personal stories with each other through virtual chat. I found out that he was just on a recent experience of being brokenhearted from a 3-year relationship, and he was still coping with it by the time. So, we reached to this one fateful day where he invited me to meet him and to be his companion for the day. For sure, he needed someone to listen to what he was going through, and I was willing to reach out to him in whatever way I could since he chose to find comfort in sharing his story to me from among his close friends. We sat down in the balcony of his condo overlooking the scenery of a wide blue sky, a big field of green grass and few buildings from afar. Then, he started counting his love story – How he and the guy decided to be in a relationship… How they ended up living together… How they struggled to work the relationship as they progressed in understanding the true nature of their personalities… How they managed to overcome issues and concerns as partners… How both of them were triggered to point at each other’s shortcomings… How his partner finally made the choice to end their relationship for good… How he begged for another chance… How they turned into strangers again… And, how he felt so helpless after their separation. I also had my part to ask questions, to clarify some details, to share some insights, and more importantly to observe him in the process of his sharing. Of course, there was sadness from his voice and on his eyes as he recalled everything, and there was also a moment of relief after resurfacing bits and pieces of his feelings behind each revelation he uttered in the process. Meanwhile, as I listened to him, I couldn’t also help myself, but to ponder and to look at myself at his very shoes wondering and recalling how I even managed to liberate myself from the misery of break-up I had once, twice, or thrice in my past relationship. As the listener, I certainly ended up thinking what best advice I could share for his benefit. On the contrary, whether I fed him the right one or what not, I wouldn’t think it’s as influential as his own decision to move on. That’s what I thought.

But, one thing is for sure…

Whether you are on his seat or you are simply on yourself as you vividly picture this scene the way I do, we all share common story of love just like his. We all can relate to that moment in our lives where we fell in love once, lost that love, eventually paid the price, and ransomed our hearts in the end. As almost all of us have been through such experience at some point in our lives, there’s no greater way of consoling his weary soul than to tell the truth with these words…

“My friend, I understand that it isn’t easy to bear the pain of a broken heart. As you always wish that your suffering ends the soonest, there is no easy way out to liberate yourself from this, but to face the reality, and live with it. You have to respect your feelings as raw as they can be, and this entails going into the process of squeezing your heart in a manner you refuse to do, but you have to do it anyway until your memory can no longer remind you of his existence; your eyes can no longer cry for him; your spirit can no longer hope for your happy ending with him; and, your body can no longer yearn his presence. Only until then…your heart can finally come in good terms with time, and say to you, “Enough is enough!” And for all you know, everything falls back into the right places again where your heart starts to pick up its broken pieces and put them back together in a new form; your memory starts to recognize a new picture of life; your eyes start to capture a clearer vision of a new day; your spirit starts to move alone freely in finding a new home for you; and, your body finally starts to transform into a new version of yourself. So, one way or another, no matter how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly and to free yourself from such misery of love, there’s always a way out, and you’ll get there in due time. It may not be too soon, but I assure you, you certainly will. And, only when you’re there, you’ll finally know that you have already found healing for yourself.”

That’s the truth about your way out of love loss.


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